Isn't that a neat idea? I actually organized one of my bookshelves into themes that are representative of my primary interests, and it brings me so much joy whenever I look at it. Like, if someone wanted to get to know me, they could just spend five minutes perusing those shelves. I imagine my life's work bookshelf would look very similar and likely bring me even more happiness :)
Yes! I do the same thing with my bookshelves, though I'm going to need to redesign one of the cubby holes. It was dedicated to Neil Gaiman 🤦🏽♀️. I love getting to know someone by looking at their bookshelves! It's the first thing I go to, and I freakin' love the idea of a bookshelf containing my life's work! Goals babe, goals 😉✨💜
Awwww man!!! We've been talking about Neil Gaiman all weekend, and how sometimes you have to separate the artist from the art. You'll have to pry Neverwhere from my cold, dead hands. I can't help that it's one of my all-time faves 🙊
Neverwhere is one of my favorites! So is Stardust and the poem ‘Instructions’. And I completely agree! I have a Museum Wall of Shame in my mind that separates the artists from their art. Neil just got a wing, and he is joining Morrissey, Woody Allen, Kevin Spacey and Bridgette Bardo.
Off the top of my head, I have about 80% of a novel I never finished, and a guitar I abandoned because I grew frustrated trying to learn how to play. There are plenty more.
Interesting. So the guitar pissed you off, that's fair. Any ideas about why the novel wore out its welcome? Are you compelled to return to it eventually? (she asks hopefully)
It was a long time ago, and I think I just kind of fizzled out. Probably lost confidence and blamed it on other things going on in my life. Too many things have changed in the world that have made the entire premise not as viable anymore. It's time has come and gone!
This was great! Again, so relatable. Love the idea of wrapping up unfinished projects and giving them away or collecting them to display on a shelf somewhere. I’m a minimalist, so I donate everything and ‘wrap up’ my thoughts and findings on a project by writing about it. The writing really helps me end something with full closure and also serves as my written reminder
I think it's absolutely brilliant to use writing as your preferred method to close the loop on projects. I'm guessing that finishing your writing projects is something that comes fairly easy to you, then?
Pretty easy, yeah. Because I only write articles and short newsletters… I’ve never attempted to write anything longer. Not sure I could handle that level of commitment… 😆 Not now anyway
Yannis, I am convinced that 75% or more of the courses, classes and certifications we get are just us trying to understand ourselves a little better. Just like Shlee commented below . . . we all share this story, probably multiple times over. And learning what makes you tick so that you can move through the world in a healthier, happier way will never be wrong.
That's what I believe, yes. We were taught the purpose is "finished." But what if it's something else and you are INCREDIBLE at accomplishing THAT thing? You are very self-aware, Yannis. I wonder if journaling about the point at which you left these various things behind would reveal what it is that you're really after.
I have natural musical talent, including the abstraction to concrete skills that go along with reading music and understanding music theory. I have played guitar for 60 years, although never rose to the level of virtuoso, even though I have the chops for it.
I have the hands to play keyboard, the breath to play wind, but I lack the passion to excel on my primary instrument, so why would I branch out?
Instead of being a musician, I spent most of my adult life being an engineer, and now that I have time to be a musician I became a writer and I still don't have time for it.
I occasionally feel guilty about it. After reading this essay, I think I might be able to let myself off the hook.
If you let yourself off the hook, I've done what I set out to do.
I'm curious, though, after reading your second comment. Is it that you were passionate about it once, but chose the responsible path of an engineer, and thus the passion faded? Or were you never really that passionate about it, just good at it--which of course can supply its own flavor of guilt, like, how dare you "waste" your talent?
It sounds like you are naturally gifted in the arts on a broader spectrum, and maybe in this stage of life, your passion has simply found a new home, perhaps in your writing? Does that feel accurate?
This is the same with my husband. He’s always felt guilty for not following through with his music and instead decided to follow the money and become an engineer. I think he’s fooling himself into thinking he’s still as passionate about music as he was in his twenties. If the desire and the passion we’re still there, I believe he’d make time for it
He skis, mountain bikes and golfs. So he still has fun in other ways. But I think he shelved the music production hobby because he gets sucked in for hours at a time. He loses track of time. He’s kind of an all-or-nothing type guy. If he can’t dedicate the amount of time he needs to perfect something, he’ll scrap the idea all together (instead of taking a more balanced approach)
It was a responsible decision, a thing grownups must do, but one cannot help regret giving up what the spirit wants in exchange for what the self needs. If I was a tenor instead of a baritone things might have played out differently, probably to my detriment.
This is fantastic! And for extra irony, I have a whole stack of mostly blank notebooks that I started to write my creative ideas in because it never even felt right to keep that project going 🤣 Thanks for helping me see these not as failures or as unfinished projects, but as a spacious homage to my life's work. 🙏
It's a pretty life-altering mental shift, so I'm glad I could pass it along to someone else.
So, if I'm understanding you correctly, you abandon the notebook when you abandon the project? If so, reclaim the notebook! Just think of all those empty pages waiting for your multitudes!!
Oh, it's even more meta - I pick up a notebook to start a practice of documenting my potential creative projects, and then I lose interest in that practice and abandon the notebook, too. Thank you for the encouragement to pick them back up! It reminds me I can write in a notebook whenever and however I want, there's no legacy of failure in intermittent documentation ❤️
OMG I hear you completely. You need a wall in the garage or a she-shed 🤣 I'm right there with you. (The dressform wearing my old chandelier costume takes up 1/4 of the room already)!
As is the bundling. I recently accepted that I’m not getting back to my resin art without a dedicated studio, so I packaged everything up. I should go back and include the note and directions of how to do it. Just in case. 😉
Do you mean run rampant with an idea until you collapse in a heap . . . on Pinterest? Because I am here. for. it. I have sooooo many non-congruent Pinterest boards 🙈
I hide most of them because I think seeing all my squirrels would terrify people.
For many weeks I had most of the body parts of a dachshund (amigurumi, folks...sheesh 😁) sitting in my crochet/knitting basket. Waiting patiently. A lot of the reason why it was just sitting is because, in my mind, it didn't look like a weiner dog quite yet. But one Saturday I said, "screw it, I'm gonna get this thing done."
And I am so glad I did. For me, the first step is always the hardest. I'd share a pic but don't think I can. 😊
Oh it’s so stupid that you can’t share a pic here! I’d love to see that. (I loooooove weiner dogs).
I find your logic absolutely fascinating. As long as it doesn’t look like the picture in your head, you resist. But you’re also able to just will yourself to finish, and then you feel amazing once you do. That’s all such valuable intel!!
I've been an ad agency copywriter, ad agency partner, freelance writer, dance teacher/choreographer, blogger, certified Lagree instructor, interior designer, mom and wife. Unpaid passions (besides the mom and wife gigs) have included acting classes, French lessons, gardening, cooking, watching Jeopardy, collecting tea, playing the NYT games every morning and reading (duh). My ultimate unpaid passion that has actually cost me the most money is travel. My current biggest time suck passion is reading other people's Substacks. There's just so much cool stuff to do in this world! Also, I had to google what a Trello board is, so obviously I'm not that organized.
You should see my abandoned Trello board. I keep it open in a tab in my browser. If I want to confirm the passing of time, all I have to do is look at it and remember 2018....Oy. I love that we are all so interested in many things.
NLP courses. Meditation courses. How to get more subscribers on Substack courses. Half-knitted scarf. Four never-opened cross-stitch kits. But now I am learning guitar, and just started painting, and collaging, and learning to read tarot, and thinking it would be fun to cook my way through the Cook's Illustrated Best Recipe book. Oh, and doing calligraphy. My shiny baubles and I feel SEEN here. Thank you.
Love this. I just published a story about my very, very long resumé. I gave up labeling myself "a quitter" a long time ago, when I realized that I had a gift that many people go through life lacking. I AM curious! I've never heard the term "multipassionate" until today. That describes me perfectly. Thanks for posting. Thanks, Jennie and thanks to Leslie Seveny (@distractedbyprettythings) for introducing me to Jennie's stack. xo
Ohhhh I don't like the reneging on the deal after you've put in the work--at ALL! I mean, I know exactly whose fault it is . . . grrrr that makes me so mad on your behalf!!!!!!
On the other hand, I completely relate to how "life" pulled you away from your game plan. How do you feel about using the last five months of your Babbel subscription now? You can continue with Duolingo for free when that runs out. And by next winter, you'll be fabulously multilingual? Does that appeal, or did you lose your language-learning mojo?
As a shiny object lover, I loved this piece. I also like the idea of displaying your projects as you life's work (strokes long glittery beard). 💜✨
Isn't that a neat idea? I actually organized one of my bookshelves into themes that are representative of my primary interests, and it brings me so much joy whenever I look at it. Like, if someone wanted to get to know me, they could just spend five minutes perusing those shelves. I imagine my life's work bookshelf would look very similar and likely bring me even more happiness :)
Yes! I do the same thing with my bookshelves, though I'm going to need to redesign one of the cubby holes. It was dedicated to Neil Gaiman 🤦🏽♀️. I love getting to know someone by looking at their bookshelves! It's the first thing I go to, and I freakin' love the idea of a bookshelf containing my life's work! Goals babe, goals 😉✨💜
Awwww man!!! We've been talking about Neil Gaiman all weekend, and how sometimes you have to separate the artist from the art. You'll have to pry Neverwhere from my cold, dead hands. I can't help that it's one of my all-time faves 🙊
Neverwhere is one of my favorites! So is Stardust and the poem ‘Instructions’. And I completely agree! I have a Museum Wall of Shame in my mind that separates the artists from their art. Neil just got a wing, and he is joining Morrissey, Woody Allen, Kevin Spacey and Bridgette Bardo.
Off the top of my head, I have about 80% of a novel I never finished, and a guitar I abandoned because I grew frustrated trying to learn how to play. There are plenty more.
Interesting. So the guitar pissed you off, that's fair. Any ideas about why the novel wore out its welcome? Are you compelled to return to it eventually? (she asks hopefully)
It was a long time ago, and I think I just kind of fizzled out. Probably lost confidence and blamed it on other things going on in my life. Too many things have changed in the world that have made the entire premise not as viable anymore. It's time has come and gone!
Gladwell talks about quitting similarly in one of his books. Outliers maybe? Knowing when to quit is definitely a skill.
WHY did no one tell me this, Henny? WHY must I always slog through the swamp of despair?!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!!!!!
Yes! I agree. Knowing when to quit is a skill and a strength
It's literally the best reframe ever.
This was great! Again, so relatable. Love the idea of wrapping up unfinished projects and giving them away or collecting them to display on a shelf somewhere. I’m a minimalist, so I donate everything and ‘wrap up’ my thoughts and findings on a project by writing about it. The writing really helps me end something with full closure and also serves as my written reminder
I think it's absolutely brilliant to use writing as your preferred method to close the loop on projects. I'm guessing that finishing your writing projects is something that comes fairly easy to you, then?
Pretty easy, yeah. Because I only write articles and short newsletters… I’ve never attempted to write anything longer. Not sure I could handle that level of commitment… 😆 Not now anyway
In 2014, I paid for an expensive course to become a hypnotherapist. The studies were completed in 2016.
After I decided not to follow through, I filled myself with guilt.
Someone had invested in me, and I had let her down.
But all I wanted from the start was to understand myself; these courses helped me do that.
Yannis, I am convinced that 75% or more of the courses, classes and certifications we get are just us trying to understand ourselves a little better. Just like Shlee commented below . . . we all share this story, probably multiple times over. And learning what makes you tick so that you can move through the world in a healthier, happier way will never be wrong.
So the things I have never finished : relationships, books, courses and etc have served their purpose?
That's what I believe, yes. We were taught the purpose is "finished." But what if it's something else and you are INCREDIBLE at accomplishing THAT thing? You are very self-aware, Yannis. I wonder if journaling about the point at which you left these various things behind would reveal what it is that you're really after.
History will tell if it was a good decision or not.
Journaling is there to make us an open book so we can understand ourselves and make good choices in life.
At that time I needed to understand more the subconscious mind it was a selfish decision because it was not intended to help others.
I was too comfortable to go out and practice it.
I don't always think it's wrong to be selfish. Sometimes it's what's right in the moment.
I can wholeheartedly relate
Oh man, me tooooo.
I have natural musical talent, including the abstraction to concrete skills that go along with reading music and understanding music theory. I have played guitar for 60 years, although never rose to the level of virtuoso, even though I have the chops for it.
I have the hands to play keyboard, the breath to play wind, but I lack the passion to excel on my primary instrument, so why would I branch out?
Instead of being a musician, I spent most of my adult life being an engineer, and now that I have time to be a musician I became a writer and I still don't have time for it.
I occasionally feel guilty about it. After reading this essay, I think I might be able to let myself off the hook.
Thank you for that.
If you let yourself off the hook, I've done what I set out to do.
I'm curious, though, after reading your second comment. Is it that you were passionate about it once, but chose the responsible path of an engineer, and thus the passion faded? Or were you never really that passionate about it, just good at it--which of course can supply its own flavor of guilt, like, how dare you "waste" your talent?
It sounds like you are naturally gifted in the arts on a broader spectrum, and maybe in this stage of life, your passion has simply found a new home, perhaps in your writing? Does that feel accurate?
It does, and stage of life is certainly more important now than it was when I was younger.
This is the same with my husband. He’s always felt guilty for not following through with his music and instead decided to follow the money and become an engineer. I think he’s fooling himself into thinking he’s still as passionate about music as he was in his twenties. If the desire and the passion we’re still there, I believe he’d make time for it
Interesting! Has a different hobby replaced music now? What does he do for fun if not that?
He skis, mountain bikes and golfs. So he still has fun in other ways. But I think he shelved the music production hobby because he gets sucked in for hours at a time. He loses track of time. He’s kind of an all-or-nothing type guy. If he can’t dedicate the amount of time he needs to perfect something, he’ll scrap the idea all together (instead of taking a more balanced approach)
It was a responsible decision, a thing grownups must do, but one cannot help regret giving up what the spirit wants in exchange for what the self needs. If I was a tenor instead of a baritone things might have played out differently, probably to my detriment.
This is fantastic! And for extra irony, I have a whole stack of mostly blank notebooks that I started to write my creative ideas in because it never even felt right to keep that project going 🤣 Thanks for helping me see these not as failures or as unfinished projects, but as a spacious homage to my life's work. 🙏
It's a pretty life-altering mental shift, so I'm glad I could pass it along to someone else.
So, if I'm understanding you correctly, you abandon the notebook when you abandon the project? If so, reclaim the notebook! Just think of all those empty pages waiting for your multitudes!!
Oh, it's even more meta - I pick up a notebook to start a practice of documenting my potential creative projects, and then I lose interest in that practice and abandon the notebook, too. Thank you for the encouragement to pick them back up! It reminds me I can write in a notebook whenever and however I want, there's no legacy of failure in intermittent documentation ❤️
I don’t think I have room in my home to display all my unfinished projects, but I like the idea.
Great post. It’s got me thinking. Which is always a good (if dangerous) thing. 😏
OMG I hear you completely. You need a wall in the garage or a she-shed 🤣 I'm right there with you. (The dressform wearing my old chandelier costume takes up 1/4 of the room already)!
I’ve, um…already expanded into the garage. 🤦🏻
Hahaha your comments make me LOL. I fucking love you.
Seriously though. My half of the garage is an oil painting studio. My poor little car will never know the warm embrace of shelter!
Well thank you! I wish my wife found it as charming 😆
Well, I'm single and this miiiiiiight have something to do with it :)
Oh, you just have to find that special someone…with a big ass empty house…😆
Haha sure, and who doesn’t mind, after approximately 13 days, it looking like a creative fairy godmother exploded.
Shhhh, Fred, this is your life now.
Fred’s cool like that.
🙋♀️
Hi. My name is Andrea and my shelf is full.
This reframe is awesome.
As is the bundling. I recently accepted that I’m not getting back to my resin art without a dedicated studio, so I packaged everything up. I should go back and include the note and directions of how to do it. Just in case. 😉
I hear you have artsy kids who like to follow in your footsteps so . . . 🤷🏻♀️
Lordy!!
Can’t they just be geneticists or something??! 🤣🤣
My life's work bookshelf?
-a how-to book on failing at teaching middle school
-a how-to book on healing from inflammatory bowel disease
-a how-to book on surviving childhood emotional neglect
That's enough for now. ;)
Ha! And NONE of these are related to your publication, am I right? And it sounds like this is only just scratching the surface?
Well, not directly related 😁 Yeah, doesn't everybody contain multitudes? 🤔 Then again, I'm unusual. 😆
Not as many multitudes 🤣
I love this reimagining Jennie!! I do this with Pinterest boards 💛
Do you mean run rampant with an idea until you collapse in a heap . . . on Pinterest? Because I am here. for. it. I have sooooo many non-congruent Pinterest boards 🙈
I hide most of them because I think seeing all my squirrels would terrify people.
That’s hilarious!! Most of mine are hidden too, because, honestly someone might decide I needed locking up if they saw them 😂😂
For many weeks I had most of the body parts of a dachshund (amigurumi, folks...sheesh 😁) sitting in my crochet/knitting basket. Waiting patiently. A lot of the reason why it was just sitting is because, in my mind, it didn't look like a weiner dog quite yet. But one Saturday I said, "screw it, I'm gonna get this thing done."
And I am so glad I did. For me, the first step is always the hardest. I'd share a pic but don't think I can. 😊
Oh it’s so stupid that you can’t share a pic here! I’d love to see that. (I loooooove weiner dogs).
I find your logic absolutely fascinating. As long as it doesn’t look like the picture in your head, you resist. But you’re also able to just will yourself to finish, and then you feel amazing once you do. That’s all such valuable intel!!
I've been an ad agency copywriter, ad agency partner, freelance writer, dance teacher/choreographer, blogger, certified Lagree instructor, interior designer, mom and wife. Unpaid passions (besides the mom and wife gigs) have included acting classes, French lessons, gardening, cooking, watching Jeopardy, collecting tea, playing the NYT games every morning and reading (duh). My ultimate unpaid passion that has actually cost me the most money is travel. My current biggest time suck passion is reading other people's Substacks. There's just so much cool stuff to do in this world! Also, I had to google what a Trello board is, so obviously I'm not that organized.
You should see my abandoned Trello board. I keep it open in a tab in my browser. If I want to confirm the passing of time, all I have to do is look at it and remember 2018....Oy. I love that we are all so interested in many things.
NLP courses. Meditation courses. How to get more subscribers on Substack courses. Half-knitted scarf. Four never-opened cross-stitch kits. But now I am learning guitar, and just started painting, and collaging, and learning to read tarot, and thinking it would be fun to cook my way through the Cook's Illustrated Best Recipe book. Oh, and doing calligraphy. My shiny baubles and I feel SEEN here. Thank you.
Love this. I just published a story about my very, very long resumé. I gave up labeling myself "a quitter" a long time ago, when I realized that I had a gift that many people go through life lacking. I AM curious! I've never heard the term "multipassionate" until today. That describes me perfectly. Thanks for posting. Thanks, Jennie and thanks to Leslie Seveny (@distractedbyprettythings) for introducing me to Jennie's stack. xo
Ohhhh I don't like the reneging on the deal after you've put in the work--at ALL! I mean, I know exactly whose fault it is . . . grrrr that makes me so mad on your behalf!!!!!!
On the other hand, I completely relate to how "life" pulled you away from your game plan. How do you feel about using the last five months of your Babbel subscription now? You can continue with Duolingo for free when that runs out. And by next winter, you'll be fabulously multilingual? Does that appeal, or did you lose your language-learning mojo?