3 Indulgences that Will Improve Your Life Satisfaction 259%
That number๐๐ผis made up, but it's impossible to do these things and not have a better day.
My best friend and I were talking recently about the days when, as bartenders, our schedule consisted of working, after-shift drinking and sleeping on repeat. Often, I would come to work on a Monday and a regular would ask, โWhatโd you get up to this weekend?โ
And I would pause and think:
Huh, what DID I do this weekend?
before stumbling through a mostly fabricated response to hide my drinking-related memory loss.
My bestie had the same experience. We both mulled that over for a minute or two, then threw up in our mouths a little bit.
Alcoholism notwithstanding, discovering that we remember very little of depth from a decade or more of our lives was terrifying. I remember it being fun, so thereโs that. But the sights, sounds, tastes and textures of those experiences?
Bupkis.
Even if you canโt relate to the drinking part (and I hope you canโt), you may still be able to relate to the โWhat did I do this weekend?โ sensation. Most of us pollute our day-to-day experiences with excessive distraction and overstimulation, and it drastically reduces our ability to slow time and record, or โmarkโ our memories. And this is a big bummer, because itโs only in pausing and noticing that we can truly appreciate life.
Distracted has become the new normal. Because of this, thereโs an increasing need for personal rituals or practices that enable us to mark our momentsโto create a mental scrapbook, if you will, so we can refer to it in our twilight years. Or, if youโre like me, you might refer to it at the end of each day to celebrate the fact that you're pretty darn great at this thing called living.
It also seems worth mentioning given the fucking chaos current state of affairs that pausing to savor the moment has the effect of grounding you to the NOW, which helps to maintain sanity. It plugs you into something real, rather than into your regrets about the past or your (growing) list of anxieties about the future.
The best part is, there are no prerequisites for living in the moment. They say that meditation is pivotal to training the mind to be here now, but if, like me, youโd rather eat scorpions on toast points than meditate, these tips will work for you. Simply make it your mission to do these things every day, and your life will improve by a percentage that might even be 259.
Savor Something Delicious
Allow the ecstasy of a great bite of food to transport you to an altered state. In Italy, savoring meals and dawdling over courses is a means of celebrating life and carving out moments of sensory pleasure. In my experience, the food served at these meals tastes better. I believe itโs because Iโm partaking in the ritual of marking the moment, guided by the culture that invented la dolce vita.
You, too, can embrace the good life and keep exotic or luxurious foods on hand. Couture cocoa, a fine port or a bottle of NA sparkling tea1 that you open just because itโs Tuesday. A triple creme brie that you nibble while you sip a mocktail on the veranda. Oreos dipped into a frosty mug of milk.
It doesnโt have to be fancy. Just mouthwatering enough to demand a time-out.
And taste neednโt be the only sense involved. Smell and memory are closely linked because of the brainโs anatomy. Aromas reach the amygdalaโthe region of the brain that processes emotionโbefore they reach the thinking, rational part. In other words, when you smell something, you process an emotion before you process a thought. Scent-oriented memories are exceptional in that they can trigger deep nostalgia, and make you feel all the feels.
I have marked many happy moments with scents. Jasmine reminds me of my hometown in spring. Mulling spices always evoke cozy Christmas flashbacks. Polo cologne makes me think of my father. And to this day, I love the smell of kerosene because it reminds me of my favorite human of all timeโmy grandpaโand his rock saws.

Pause to Notice Beauty
In 2007, The Washington Post did an experiment. World-famous violinist, Joshua Bell, armed with his $3.5 million Stradivari violin, was positioned in a DC subway stop during morning rush hour. He looked like a street performer. Over the course of the 43 minutes he played, 1,097 people hurried past, few even turning to look. Only seven people stopped.
Three days before the experiment, Bell had filled the house at Bostonโs Symphony Hall, where โpretty goodโ seats went for $100 (or $152, nowadays).
The articleโs author describes watching video footage of the scene in time-lapse:
Even at this accelerated pace, the fiddlerโs movements remain fluid and graceful; he seems so apart from his audienceโunseen, unheard, otherworldlyโthat you find yourself thinking that heโs not really there. A ghost.
Only then do you see it: he is the one who is real. They are the ghosts.
So . . . moment of truth, friends: do you make time for beauty? Would you have stopped during your busy commute to listen to a virtuoso? Would you have even noticed?
It sounds deceptively simple to suggest that someone stop and smell the roses. But the capacity and patience to noticeโand cherishโyour surroundings are increasingly rare qualities. And yet, improving your ability to enjoy beauty is critical to living a fulfilling life. Iโd even argue that in a culture that sensationalizes everything thatโs going wrong in the world, itโs an act of resistance to appreciate life when life is worth appreciating.
Think about this when your kid plays her first soccer game: First, put down the smartphone, even if you're only using it to videotape the match. Second, mark the feeling of the sun on your shoulders, smell those half-time orange slices, soak in the cheers of the other spectators and see the glee on your daughter's face when her team scores its first goal.
Or sit on the patio and ponder the Jacaranda tree in your yard, while the warm spring breeze drips a carpet of dazzling purple blooms on the freshly mowed grass. Pause and notice when sight, scent and touch come together to create a beautiful moment worth marking.
Laugh Often
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springsโjolted by every pebble in the road.
~Henry Ward Beecher
Ainโt that the truth? Society has devolved into a state of fragility where everyone is jolted by pebbles from sun up to sundown. So many clashes could be soothed if we could all cultivate more humor in our lives.
As children, we laughed hundreds of times a day, but as adults, life tends to be more serious and laughter more infrequent.
But why?
Laughter boosts the immune system, burns calories and releases endorphins that can ease pain. It shuts down negativity, helps you release inhibitions and studies show it may help you live longer.
So consider it โtaking your medsโ when you watch your favorite comedian do stand-up or join a game night with your friends. Or how about the next time you need to kick start a conversation in a non-creepy way, simply asking, โWhatโs the funniest thing that happened to you this week?โ
Ritualize Pleasure
Reading that subheading you might picture hedonism of the Ancient Roman variety. This brings up an important point about pursuing pleasure with abandon. When treats become habitualโmeaning you have constant access to themโthe potential exists for them to become less enjoyable. See also: Why you need more and more of a drug over time to get high.
However, you can forgo orgies and vomitorium-necessitating gluttony and still aim to seek beauty, hilarity and culinary delight each day. Just mark the moment. Mark it with crayons or journal entries or tears, but be sure to mark it.
Truly vibrant people maintain balance and positivity by soaking in their passions and pleasures every day like clockwork. They make marking moments a daily ritual, like taking tea, not only because they like to seize the day but also because they recognize doing so makes them more fun in general.
And this means other people benefit, too.
Final Thoughts
When asked to define wealth, most people would say a wealthy person is someone who makes X millions of dollars. X can be any number.
But I vote we redefine wealth as a state acquired by the number of beautiful moments you observe daily, how much time you reserve for family and loved ones, how often you walk barefoot in the sand or search for constellations in the sky.
Our inner landscape is where peace and fulfillment reside. One of the quickest ways to become familiar with yours is by marking your moments. Do you want a colorful array of memories that trigger cascades of warm and fuzzy feelings? Or a blurry recollection of hours spent pecking away on your smartphone?
The choice is yours.
Please oh please oh please drop one of your recently marked moments in the comments. Iโve newly discovered that being a voyeur into yโallโs joy hits is the BEST pick me up a girl could ask for. I know your share will bring delight to more than just me. ๐ฉต
Did you know that paid subscribers get access to:
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I took five minutes to give my dog a proper doggy massage after her bath today. She was so happy all stretched out and zen. So cute. Sheโs 91 in dog years. Those old muscles loved the extra TLC.
I have many of those non-memory memories you mentioned at the beginning of this post. Now, many years later, I decided that I do not want life to just happen to me, I want to grab those experiences, especially the sensory pleasures you speak of. I have started planning 3 adventures every quarter in an effort to maintain a spark. I have also committed to asking someone to lunch once a month. It sounds simple, but it's working! Writing is such a solitary pursuit, these simple things help me make sure I'm still creating new memories. Thanks for all the ideas you presented here and the reminder to savor it allโฃ๏ธ